peiyee

CNY 2012, a different one

2012-01-24T11:02:00.004+08:00

i cannot control myself as i read jasly's post, maybe its time i pour it all out and here would be a good place, no clash with the CNY mood, no disturbing of anybody, no time difference, i could say anything i want without choking on my words. only me, and me.

CNY 2012, i got to know that i lost someone, one whom i didn't know i felt so close to after so long a separation until i found my tears welling up when dad told me she was joining them at a later time. their expressions were weird, i kept my tears, thankful that skype's resolution wasn't good. i wanted to ask but i didn't. she might be hospitalised, i thought to myself, and deep down i was scared to hear anything about it. and the last thing i wanted to happen is to have her leave me. She, whom I haven't met for 9 years. She, whom i expected to be hugging and chatting to this december when kahling jiejie gets married. i was afraid that history repeated itself again.

9 years ago, i was doing the balancing act primary school children like to do on a curb-like thingy in between GRPS and the carpark. i stopped momentarily and checked my watch, 5.20pm if my memory didn't fail me. sometime later (could be a day or two i cannot remember), mum told us we need to pack, ahgong passed away at ipoh. The time? the exact moment i checked my watch as i balanced on the curb happily. On the trip back, i didn't cry. it was the first death encounter i ever had. I knew i need to cry, like its on tv show. so i tried to cry but i couldn't. all through the trip, i was sad but no tears came up, what a strong girl. when i got into dad's car to go to ahgong house, my legs started to shake. it shook so violently i needed to press my hands onto my laps and moved a lot to hide it. i couldn't help it. finally, we reached. getting down the car would probably ease the shaking i thought. i got off the car and saw the funeral. its some distance away because there was no space for dad to park the car nearer. we were late so as a custom, mum could not just walk to the place but had to kneel in or something. i stood still at where i alighted, walk a bited and started to cry, so bitterly it overwhelmed me. dad walked back and cried as he hugged me. i never seen him cry so badly before. we walked in and popo came over, suddenly, everybody just held on to each other and cried. the weight on me was unbearable as they held on to each other but it only made me cry more. i lost my ahgong. the holiday we visited him before his death, he asked me to help him rotate the wall fan, but i didn't know how to. at dinner time, he asked me if i know his full name. but shamefully, i didn't know it when my younger cousin knew it. so i told myself that i will visit again next holiday as a granddaughter who can help ahgong with what he needs and remembers his full name. but it was all too late. the rides on his motorbike, seeing how he slaughtered the boars, playing with his chicks, being afraid of his big dogs, devouring the durians and mangosteen he planted and picked, ... ..., i took my ahgong for granted for 12 long years and it was too late when i wanted to become a granddaughter who at least know his full name. four months later, my maternal ahgong passed away. i didn't shed a single tear during his funeral. but much as i wanted to control it and let them hao zou, i realised it was a blow to me and i let it out during PE lessons one day, vividly remembering mr jumat asking them to leave me alone and yingxian comforting me.

Today, history repeated itself again. the last time i saw ahgong was during his funeral. the last time i saw my popo, was also during ahgong's funeral, sadly. 9 long years and i only spoken to her once on the phone when we become in contact with daddy again. i told her i will visit her one day again in maur and go exercise with her since she don't have any more exercise kakis now that she shifted out of ipoh. but now, i never got the chance to. my popo who made sure she woke up bright and early in the morning to buy lots of cucumbers and make my favourite pig kidneys with cucumbers in vinegar whenever we went back last time, my popo who can speak mandarin to us amidst all the canto, my popo with her distinct smile with mi mi yan, my popo who made sure we baibai to the dieties during CNY, my popo has now joined my ahgong. i no longer be able to see her this december. she left us. i haven't seen her in 9 years and i never would. she passed away 20+ days ago according to mama but i knew only now. she was admitted to the hospital on the day daddy sent me off to toronto but he never told me. he never told me when he texted, email or skyped me after. he felt unwell after that, but still he never told me. and there i was snapping photos of this world thirteen hours behind, playing with the snow while papa was probably sad to the max and yet have to worry about me.

i am kept in the dark, because they love me. mum decided to let me know the truth in the end. it was a painful one. till now, i still don't know the cause and time of her sudden death. i am not allowed to skype dad until i was able to curb my tears. but i really want to talk to him. i typed with trembling hands just now as i signed in skype. i was afraid to tell him i knew about it. i was afraid i would cry. he wasn't online thank goodness. i could email him, sms him, skype call him..but i realise i am afraid how i am going to face him. i need to find more things to busy myself with, enjoy my sep, so that i can snap out of this ASAP. mum is right, the reason why dad didn't want to tell me is because i am weak. so now, finding :) is what i really need to do now, so that mum and dad can stop worrying about me anymore.

mama told me i cannot cry, because if i do, popo won't bear to leave this world. i cannot cry, so that popo can reach ji le shi jie without any burden. i hope this history won't happen again. to my popo, be safe on your journey, to my family, please stay healthy and live a ripe old age.

南无阿弥陀佛南无阿弥陀佛南无阿弥陀佛南无阿弥陀佛南无阿弥陀佛南无阿弥陀佛
南无阿弥陀佛南无阿弥陀佛南无阿弥陀佛南无阿弥陀佛南无阿弥陀佛南无阿弥陀佛
南无阿弥陀佛南无阿弥陀佛南无阿弥陀佛南无阿弥陀佛南无阿弥陀佛南无阿弥陀佛
南无阿弥陀佛南无阿弥陀佛南无阿弥陀佛南无阿弥陀佛南无阿弥陀佛南无阿弥陀佛
南无阿弥陀佛南无阿弥陀佛南无阿弥陀佛南无阿弥陀佛南无阿弥陀佛南无阿弥陀佛
南无阿弥陀佛南无阿弥陀佛南无阿弥陀佛南无阿弥陀佛南无阿弥陀佛南无阿弥陀佛
南无阿弥陀佛南无阿弥陀佛南无阿弥陀佛南无阿弥陀佛南无阿弥陀佛南无阿弥陀佛
南无阿弥陀佛南无阿弥陀佛南无阿弥陀佛南无阿弥陀佛南无阿弥陀佛南无阿弥陀佛
南无阿弥陀佛南无阿弥陀佛南无阿弥陀佛南无阿弥陀佛南无阿弥陀佛南无阿弥陀佛
南无阿弥陀佛南无阿弥陀佛南无阿弥陀佛南无阿弥陀佛南无阿弥陀佛南无阿弥陀佛
南无阿弥陀佛南无阿弥陀佛南无阿弥陀佛南无阿弥陀佛南无阿弥陀佛南无阿弥陀佛
南无阿弥陀佛南无阿弥陀佛南无阿弥陀佛南无阿弥陀佛南无阿弥陀佛南无阿弥陀佛
南无阿弥陀佛南无阿弥陀佛南无阿弥陀佛南无阿弥陀佛南无阿弥陀佛南无阿弥陀佛
南无阿弥陀佛南无阿弥陀佛南无阿弥陀佛南无阿弥陀佛南无阿弥陀佛南无阿弥陀佛
南无阿弥陀佛南无阿弥陀佛南无阿弥陀佛南无阿弥陀佛南无阿弥陀佛南无阿弥陀佛
南无阿弥陀佛南无阿弥陀佛南无阿弥陀佛南无阿弥陀佛南无阿弥陀佛南无阿弥陀佛
南无阿弥陀佛南无阿弥陀佛南无阿弥陀佛南无阿弥陀佛南无阿弥陀佛南无阿弥陀佛
南无阿弥陀佛南无阿弥陀佛南无阿弥陀佛南无阿弥陀佛南无阿弥陀佛南无阿弥陀佛

a secret blogpost

2011-12-13T23:08:00.005+08:00

I HAVE ZERO IDEA WHATS GNG ON WITH MY BLOGGER

the publish post button is still not working on my lappy

but it would only mean that my draft is going to accumulate

meaning no one will see this post

(along with the other two posts somewhere in the draft folder)

i think i have matured quite a bit with the crazily busy sem

ohya, i am supposed to yell HURRAY! here whenever i am done with my exams

but apparently, no one might see this until one day, that button decides to revive itself agn

back to the mature part

i guess its because of the friends around me

that prompt me to think at a level like sherdee n yongkong

wanted to blog but the button isn't working

so they just fade away

owell

so this is a secret blogpost

i enjoy typing it as a secret blogpost

probably due to the book i am reading now

1Q84

creepily engaging

its occupying my brain now

with the two moons in their world

and the little people lurking somewhere

this has no link at all with this secret post

but then again

nothing is logical in the world 1Q84

crazily random and randomly crazy

2011-09-29T01:33:00.003+08:00

admist this crazy period, i recalled i have a blog. omg i miss blogging so much :( too much happening though i always tell people my timetable slack, too much i need to update because i realise they are slipping away from my memory soon (omg, my attachment i haben talk about it yet!). emo clouds everywhere recently, hopefully they disperse soon. life is crazy, but little things keep you going. dajia jiayous lo! :)

if my blog is a person, he/she will be on the top of the list i need to say sorry to~ n blog, tell u a secret, i want the lastest milktoof set..make it two, 1 lardee, 1 ickle hehe

i love my random post. because it is not checked for mistakes, because it is random, because..i blogged :)

my dear Notee

2011-07-28T12:40:00.006+08:00

Notee felt a little weird after I knocked it again while brushing today -.-. For a moment, I thought it is leaving me forever, but luckily it is still intact to remind me that I haven’t blogged about it. Notee (pronounced like ‘naughty’) is an adult tooth now attaching soul-lessly (but hopefully firmly) to my gum. Decided to name it after reading Lardee and ickle.

Have been wanting to blog about my teethache incident but now I couldn’t remember much of the details after the much information loaded attachment. In any case, my whole set of teeth was in this excruciating pain on a particular day after eating N bazhangs the day before, inhaling a gust of cold air on a lrt, which gave my sensitive teeth some torturous moments and yes, as usual, knocked my front teeth while brushing. The pain was unbearable, especially so when I was not biting, ironically. Thought it was the heat but TCM didn’t help. In the end, I went to the dentist, unwillingly, for fear that I might follow dad’s teethsteps. The dentist didn’t know what’s wrong with me either because I couldn’t pin point to her the source of pain. It was just...the whole set of teeth >.<. So she put some substance on each of most of my teeth to check. Was supposed to feel pain if the tooth is normal. In the end, I couldn’t feel anything for Notee, or rather the pain was very much delayed. X-ray then revealed that the tooth nerve for Notee is dying due to some not-so-well-done filling I had a few years back. The dentist explained that sometimes the sensation for one tooth can be felt for the entire set of teeth. I bet this has something to do with the brain sensory areas learnt in bio psych but I cannot remember the term >.<

Anyway, the solution is…root canal therapy. Basically, it is the digging out of the dying nerve, cleaning it and filling it up, all in two stages. Had 2 injections of anesthetics for each stage and it really didn’t hurt (very much to my surprise after the horrible experience I had when I was 7)! Tried without anesthetic initially for my second stage cuz my tooth nerve is already removed but the pressure exerted by my tooth clamp is way too high for me to bear so I surrendered. Made me realized how strong our teeth could be!

Well, so now I have a soulless Notee residing in my mouth. So sad that I am always having issues with my teeth but dad says it couldn’t be helped much because I inherited it, uh-oh. Mum realized after watching news that she shouldn’t have fed me abnormally lots of milo using milk bottle last time, double uh-oh. And myself? I shouldn’t have avoided brushing my gums during younger days for fear I might brush my gums away >.<, more uh-oh. But what’s done cannot be undone. I shall take even better care of my teeth now! Especially Notee (a saint now since he is deprived of any worldly sensations >.<), which is the weakest now and might just crack if I bite on something too hard. Please hang in there forever, Notee!

awesome much! =)

2011-07-01T23:50:00.004+08:00

hello blog! a delayed post i realised was saved as draft n not posted lol..time to remove the ge post from the first liao ahaha

have been wanting to update my blog, especially on my poor toofy, but I just get myself to do it. Updates on my tooth gonna be up soon, real soon cuz memory of that crazy incident is fading soon despite me whining quite a bit haha! Op stage 2 next week and I shall say hi to my new-yet-old tooth, plus one week worth of cracked lips!

Want to leave a note here that I AM ENJOYING MY ATTACHMENT amidst all the swiss roll!! awesome experience for the first week!! wheeeeee :)

wah~!

2011-06-03T13:57:00.004+08:00

another delayed one >.<

i guess nobody likes his/her kind intentions to be mistaken

but i think i am taking it too hard cuz i am at fault too being last minute that time

perhaps i could have done better

now i can only hope for a knight in shiny armour

General Elections

2011-05-15T22:55:00.004+08:00

To me, general elections is like a national acitivty. Similar to NDP, but of course this time round, it successfully mobilised the whole nation, voters or non-voters, including this not-of-age-but-just-taken-oath me.

I vaguely remember the last GE. Not very much on the rallies and political issues, but on knowing that oh, there is opposition in Hougang , CST (because of the hokkien rhyme his name has, which unfortunately came true this time) and yes, the famous james gomez case. Being already a secondary school student then, i now conclude that i was rather political apathetic that time. I was excited over GE by virtue of it being GE. haha full stop. I rememeber watching the results release and getting excited that Teo Ho Pin got high votes. full stop.

five years later, its GE again! maybe its the additional 5 years of education, maybe its my age, maybe my peers, i became more interested in GE, despite it being in the midst of my exams. I got excited when the PAP truck came round my neighbourhood, even when it did so many times every day (no sign of opp thou ><). I caught GE news, i followed GE news/gossips/forum online, i talked GE. the names of those prominent candidates somehow just registered in my brain better than my test materials. I celebrated my post exam with Geraldine and Yuting at rally blowing the bibi (the whistle they gave out) in the damp flooded field. I stood there for a whole 3 hours when normally i would have rushed off somewhere to grab a seat. i cheered, i blowed my whistle, i paid attention (not to the entire thing but thats a feat given that i just ended exams haha). i caught 27 times of Yam Ah Mee (oh, how famous is he now btw. but i think he really did a superb job!) that result release sat despite knowing the results beforehand through Geraldine. But still, i think many are like me, they want to confirm the results. Maybe as the news said, being overly involved in GE may cause some aftereffects, i actually got sick after GE haha. just joking, it is the late sat night cum all the incense paper dust that caused it. and so i celebrated mummy's day with mummy with my nose tap on XD.on hindsight, woah! just whats with me?!

Nonetheless, it felt fufilling to be in the know of what is going in your nation. most importantly, I learnt that GE can have so many implications. I didn't know so many things can be going around within such a short period. this time. all the seats got contested except tanjong pagar's. PAP is no longer always the strongest. times have changed and our leaders couldn't be like those in the past anymore. opposition now knows how to strategise. voting suddenly becomes a very very important decision. and this very very important decision of many has resulted the voting out of important ministers, opposition's loss of potong pasir, and yadah yadah. No point whining/complaining/cheering about any results. Hopefully, WP can prove themselves to be worthy of the loss in the cabinet with some concrete plans they never unveil during the campaign. Hopefully the first opp guy i know won't be too disappointed, his chiam see is afterall more than 2 decades, thats worth applauding already. Hopefully, TPL proves herself, mum says she is someone who will genuinely help people, i believe so too. Hopefully, given PAP's results this time round, they would really do something to deal with the citizen's increasing resentment to them. To me, they are still the strongest, but then the opposition are improving too.

On a lighter note, i am really glad i have two kakis with me in this GE craze. similarly not of age, Geraldine and Yuting makes good kakis to discuss GE stuff. Amazingly, they made me feel that i do have my own take too. I love the GE stuff we update each other, be it the serious (who said what, when and where, and what happen after that) or the not serious at all stuff (certian MP who is very good looking and kee qiu!). I may not be like the many who analyse and blog about their take on politics but this time round, i guess i can say that i am not politically apathic. Sign of growing up! :D

breathe in, breathe out

2011-05-15T22:33:00.013+08:00

that icecream waffle we shared
that vegetarian spread we had
that movie we couldn't catch
those little tricks i fell to
those things i never tell
am i late or
am i no good
but what can i do
for certain reasons
they are coming back

can history repeat itself again?

life PK death

2011-05-14T11:19:00.000+08:00

The second post I am blogging on ms word and blogger is still down. I was reading my previous entries. Glad I kept a blog. So many things I have sort of forgotten! And those that I blogged about indirectly, they are really good retrieval cues! Haha okies, so which one of the random posts in my mind should I post. Oh the reason why I have been busy since exams more than a week ago. I was helping my mother folding incense paper. I call it oragami, cuz that’s how I always mispronounce origami. That folding took me 3 full days. 120 boxes in total. The ingots I folded amount approximately to 160 per box so..yea..same actions for three days. I am awed at myself 0.o.

On a side note, since we are on incense paper. One of my friends had a life and death encounter recently. This life and death doesn’t mean a situation when one's life is in critical danger. But really life - with another life into this world. And death - with yet another one leaving this world. To her, both were unexpected. And this really goes to show how life is unpredictable. So am I supposed to congratulate her or send her my condolences? Dilemma but I guess death seems to override life in this scenario. So unpredictable…it only reminds me to appreciate what I have with me now. But again, am I greedy, am I what. Every time something happens that make me think life’s unpredictable so I must treasure what I have AND make sure I pursue certain things that I want to avoid regrets. But in the end, as time pass, I forgot about it. Or that intensity fades. And once again. I start to take things for granted. Once again. I start to become a coward. I don’t dare to move a step forward to pursue to fight for what i wanted. Again. Time to grow up, peiyee.

hello pocket! exams are over n heng, i'm still a student!

2011-05-14T11:14:00.000+08:00

I am blogging in ms word. Because blogger is down when I am finally free and in the mood of blogging lol. Anyway, hello blog! I am so sorry I abandon you again for quite some time. Yes, normally I come here once exam is over to yell hurray or sorts but somehow I don’t have the time to do so this semester. Was busy shifting home and after that, things come pouring (okie, not that serious, streaming only) in.

But, 迟到好过没到 right! So YESH YESH YESH! Another semester is over and I say byebye to year 2! I can’t believe my eyes, ears, and other sense organs that I am half way through university life and so much closer to worklife. This feeling is crazy. Many a time when I stroll everywhere, anywhere in NUS during the night with Geraldine/Yuting/after meetups, it just occured to me that THIS IS A LIFE OF A STUDENT. When I take train/bus on a random afternoon during working hours, it again occured to me that THIS IS A LIFE OF A STUDENT. So shiok! But. Soon, I won’t be able to explore NUS at night anymore. Soon, I won’t be able to mug like a kid in library, random wooden benches, random exotic places anymore. Soon, I won’t be able to be outside roaming during working hours anymore. Soon, I won’t be that easily forgiven for any mistakes I make in CCA anymore. Many things. The list goes on. Because soon, I am no longer a student.

Suddenly, I realize I really need to cherish my student status. Remember we were younger, everyone can’t wait to grow up and stop having exams, but now I fear not being a student. Well, people might say make the most out of your education years so that you have something to reminisce then. But, people are greedy, or maybe I am greedy. I don’t want to reminisce only, I want the experience. Hmm, then become like deliang, odear, I don’t want to be an oldie among all the ahgirls and ahboys. Odear, this is getting nowhere. I don’t want to leave school. I have two more years to overcome this feel.

Alright, I didn’t intend to write about the middle portion, but it just pop out at the spur of moment I typed ‘say byebye to year 2!’ Actually, there are lots of things that I want to blog over these few days. Either I did not have the time, or I am just lazy to move my body and fingers (the EPSP isn’t just enough to start an action potential lols) to switch on ahaha. So I blogged them in my mind. Will translate them into actual posts slowly soon. And next time, I am going to try to blog as soon as I thought of something I want to leave in this pocket for me to read about in the future.

One Dream

2011-04-08T17:42:00.000+08:00

Long time no see blog :D i realised this is the first time i am blogging after the harddisk transplant. lots to update but we'll leave it to some other time. In short, i celebrated my bday (yayyay), planted three trees (yayyay), took part in earth hour (yayyay), rush a lot of assignments (yayyay) and eat a lot of chewy juniors (yayyay), amongst others hee :D shall end this post with the song above by Ling Kai :) i think its really naise :) for One Dream Initiative :D so whats your dream?

i am supposed to do work

2011-02-16T00:28:00.000+08:00

i guess i am just too excited to do my work. the crazy ultimate flintstone period is over! at least for now, so i shall allow myself to indulge in a little bit of non-school stuff haha, like visit my blog and drop some words here. So many things happened this few days, my ahaha actually crashed! i think i whined to a lot of people but i still have to say this again on my blog, this flintstone event is afterall, so memorable

Part 1

ahaha started to play slow motion but i didn't think too much of it cuz i thought its just part of lappy ageing. however, one fateful day (sounds like i am writing pri sch essay XD), ahaha took 3 hours n it couldn't even load to the desktop. panic. quickly think of what i have inside lappy:

Points i want to include in personality essay and essay is due in 2 days

2 research papers on object permanence report and report is due in one week

My months-long research on SEP and application is due in one week

SAVE stuff

On top of that i haven't study my bio psych, i need to go wrap flowers, i need to man CnD booths, i have save3s subcomm meeting. the world is spinning~

Part 2

off to IT coop to treat my ahaha. diagnosis: software clash, need to reload to factory settings =.= 'so what about my documents?' 'once reload, all will be gone, you can retrive ur data, go this data recovery centre' *pass me paper*..called the place to realise it costs a few hundreds to thousands to retrive data, depending on how serious the data is.. 'so how long will it take'.. 'you can send it for evaluation first so that we can advise u on the price, evaluation will take a few days n the retrieval will also take a few days so around one week' ..look at my deadlines, jaw drop

Part 3

and so i did not do any data recovery n send ahaha for her operation. the person got back to me its actually harddisk crash. heng under warranty, heng i didn't send it for data recovery. but for the rest of the week, i am busy, really busy

this is ulitmate flintstoness, maybe after this fiasco, flintstoness might just leave me? we shall see!

HAPPY =)

2011-01-31T22:24:00.000+08:00

My emo(tions) prof just told us today that

happy people are

dumb, forgetful, spineless and self-boosting but nice and creative bigots

mind you, its backed up by studies XD

while hunting for some quotes to write in a cheer up card

i chanced upon this

''Happiness? That's nothing more than health and a poor memory"

- Albert Schweitzer

happiness ah, you know it when u are smiling :D

Arh, that sounds like William James' POV XD

HAPPY 2011!!

2011-01-02T22:03:00.000+08:00

new skin, new song, new year!! HAPPY 2011!!

It is the second day of a brand new year! i seldom make new year resolutions so it shall be kept that way >.<. though i think i did make one a FEW (yes, few..not many) months back on my 19th to embark on some 惊心动魄events. was about to blog about it at the last moments of 2010 but i procrastinated, as usual..so here we go!

19 great things peiyee did during her 19th, which is erm quite some while ago

1. part time as a pasar malam girl. the heat, the maths, the CNY mood! :)
2. receive her first ever A levels results. the excitement, the gratefulness, the surname! :)
3. the path. the countless brain cells, the countless uni choice, the decision! :)
4. Nanhua. the relief teaching, the job shadowing! :)
5. the police hq twin tower. the lift, the psychologist, the 怕怕ess! :S
6. that room in national library. the 'what can you see in the sky'! D:
7. the tea. and shortly, the letter and the signing! :)
8. the OBS. the friendship, the storm, the fun! :)
9. this very space. my blog! :)
10. the FACEBOOK! (both #9&#10 = say byebye to IT dino!)
11. tuition. the first experience, the satisfaction, the oh my god-ness. :)
12. NUS! the adaptation, the directions, the no-uniforms, the 'oh, sch suddenly become so big-ess!' :)
13. B12L8! the friendship, the girls, the sleep without mama! :)
14. learn mooncake making! :)
15. first xmas n new year overseas in myanmar! :)
16. fighting balls! :)
17. PPT! the myanmar, the thrills, the unexpected takeawayS! :)
18. the DJACK!
19. the SLOWNESS

looking back, its not many 惊心动魄, or you can say none at all. nonetheless, there's quite a few of first times and definitely are events worth remembering and holding to. n yesh! i finally posted this!! woohoo! getting things done right from the 2011 start. HAPPY NEW YEAR everyone!! n stay forever 19! :D

on a side note, please bring a kite to my picnic haha XD.

hellos dear blog! :)

2010-11-27T21:55:00.000+08:00

EXAMS..OVER!!

It has been 17 days since i last fed my blog with some delicious post. Apparently, so many things happened this few weeks!

I think i made another wrong decision a few weeks back. trying to console myself by telling myself that it was decided last minute n in a rush. N to think i was actually proud of myself cuz its a win-win no harm situation. But now i realise, its maybe not if i were to think deeper, i was not sensitive enough, hate to say this cuz i always defend myself to be very alert infront of yuting. i felt confused now, but what's done cannot be undone. so i hope there is two mysterious people. Mysterious A who is freaking clever so it justified my decision and consideration back then and a mysterious B to even exist in the first place so i can cling on to like a big fat leech (assuming i continue with my sinful diet).

I actually successfully barred myself from msn, no green lights, not even red, for about two weeks? wheehee! But TV addiction is still not curbed, I watch a sinful lot of TV while mugging n i think i will regret it T.T

Lilin went Genting. I realised i miss my mei mei a lot a lot. n daddy 特地 rushed back to malayisa so she managed to meet him! Envy. It has been *counting with fingers* almost 8 years since i saw my dad. I miss him real lot, my popo too. My dad is still as cute as ever, he brought soft toys for us, reminded me of the good old days last time when he always 'kiap' bags and bags of toys from arcade (a gene that i hope to but doubt that i inherit from him) for us. Erm, though the gifts is kind of age-inappropriate already, i still love it and yes, 感触良多.

My jiejie is getting married! :DD

My last paper didn't end with a beautiful note. No rush today at all, cuz i don't even understand the questions in the first place. I told my mum if i can get an A+ for this, i will cut my hair botak. She is holding high hopes on this now and has repeated this N times today. I think she will get disappointed though. N i hope i can at least make it a S. if not, i have to take 6 modules next semester! On a side, despite being unable to do like more than half of the paper, i realised during the paper that i really loved maths. Maybe the feeling is more intense after all the essays for other papers. Writing numbers and all the intergration signs and stuff can be really enjoyable, turst me. the feeling is so good i forgot to panick that i didn't do well. But yea, the feeling of course came back to haunt me afterwards and until now, maybe even until 21st. I don't think i am giving maths up, but i need to rethink how to do it, cuz seriously, i screwed this module, which i feel very bad about.

I fear for my results this semester more than last semester. The F ratios really landed an AHEM score for my individual report T.T. Heart just missed a beat.

I am going UoT for exchange!! wheehee. Internal offer though, hope everything works out fine. Looking forward to the world 13 hours behind. and an awesome train ride to Ottawa, terminal to terminal, get what i mean? ;)

i didn't realised my mum gave all the guiguis away when i was in pgp like 2 weeks later. I didn't even have the chance to say bye bye to them. but i promised them i will give them names after my exams. so here it goes. for the three laojiaos, u guys will be 福、禄、寿..shou will be the biggest one cuz you are the oldest by virtue of size. lu will be the one who munch very louding on the cabbages cuz food is wealth. and fu, you are fu cuz you have lu and shou with you, very xinfu :) for the newcomer, you are 星, like those superstars cuz you came into the family with 'wah so nice de house (aka container)'..and together, you are 福禄寿星 :) i will miss you guys and your funny actions which cause me to spend the whole lot hours looking at you all. please stay healthy and live up to your names :)

feel so good typing everything out. anything that makes me sad, i shall treat it as nurturing my practical intelligence. every event will be a lesson learnt and once in a while, may some bonuses pop by to make my day. ahaha, my development curve is gradual by the way, a smooth continuous curve :)..it means differentiable at every point, and r' is never 0 duiba :)

跌倒了再爬起来

2010-11-10T20:45:00.001+08:00

since i am granted the permission to be sad for one day...

this is mad
i actually put in the wrong F ratiosss for my stats report
thats 3 ratios in total
O.M.G.

n my ... and my ....

alright,
self-fulfilling prophecy
need to stop this and tell myself i can do it
yes
i can do it
n i am ending off with a :)

look on the bright side
u have one more week
to chiong all your results back!

meanwhile
don't slack
watch less tv while u go home
stop facebooking n reading almost ALL the news feed
(what a bad habit and
apparently the post-it on the board doesn't help =.=)
stop being green on msn
(but i like the deng deng deng noise red doesn't have)

ahh feeling better

hello to the bei in the pocket

2010-11-01T22:29:00.000+08:00

don't feel good leaving an emo post as the most recent post

so just dropping a :) here

and i will do sth about the blog soon :)

okie, thats 2 :)s

alright, 3 :D

can't think of a good title

2010-09-30T22:16:00.000+08:00

dear blog, i am feeling very not-myself today. or rather, i think i hadn't been feeling myself since the semester started. too many things swarming in. i am no longer as alert as before. things that i was able to pay attention to last time, i can't now. i start to make a lot of spelling mistakes recently btw. i need. to find myself back.

something very sad happened today, you know, the last time i cried for my maths paper was in primary 5. when problem sum questions jumped from 5 questions in section c to i think 10. so many in the class got freaked out because we couldn't finish the questions in time. alright, i hadn't cry today but the same feeling is back. i am really feeling very sad that i got that results for a maths module, felt this way for ma1505 too but more intense this time. because i have awesome lecturer, awesome lecture kaki and awesome textbook but not even a near awesome performance. time to do something about it. especially because it is maths.

a lot of people around me are having problems. one friend called me today to share about hers. amidst all things, i hope i can still stay strong myself and be there for them. she was saying how can me and another friend be so strong last time when that major problem cropped up and that she definitely can't be as strong. i replied nobody know their inner strength when in fact i am not as strong as i seem too, i don't know where did that phrase come from but i hope it is true and i do have the strength and ability to find the old peiyee back.

read ahbu's blog yesterday. she had this really philosophical post. i thought to myself when will i write like her (meaning think deep deep like yk n people) but on the other hand, i find myself resisting to want to become like them. ironical, bu xiang zhang da i think =P

something that happened earlier this year around jan/feb, i miss it bacause i wasn't responsive enough. After i realised, it was too late. i know its irreversible but if given the chance, may history repeats itself again, i won't be that slow anymore.

to myself, please don't give up (on maths), rmb why you took it in the first place.

such emo updates, i realised i have been typing a lot recently. tomorrow will be a happy day! cuz its CHILDREN'S DAY! its the last day that children's day will be fixed on 1st october though, so treasure it :D i feel like giving gorgor, xl, B12L8, PAPX, hongyi, okie, everyone else lolipops tmr XD haha i even thought of giving one to the maths prof's son XD shall do it in my dream :D

flintstone me!

2010-09-20T17:37:00.000+08:00

i have 2 consecutive flintstone thursday!

n the virus is spreading to mondays soon =x

flintstone is one of my fav cartoon when young thou

but i can't believe what has happened

first thursday.

sim card BURNT itself n i am without phone

when i am supposed to be in THREE places at the same time

rushed to the first,

lappy went out of batt, totally lose contact with outside world

on to the second,

but i can't flag a taxi AT ALL

heng a nice uncle allow me to use his phone

and heng i remember amanda's pizza hut alike number

give up on the second,

off to the third

got cheated by a person who told me the lift can't go to level 4

and i stupidly stop at level 3 n went up the flight of stairs with him

with all my heavy stuff!

second thursday.

all went well until i was asked to send email to a vvvip

gan jiong send the first

n realised idk how to send multiple recipients in nus webmail

figure out after eons, okie sent

next, another email for me to send

this time more vvvvvvvvvvvvvip

gan jiong again

copy paste sent

in the end formatting got problem D:

next, follow up email to reply to

i replied and cc relevant people

but sending failed and NOBODY receive it

and i didn't realise it DD:

but today is not thursday yet...

went to cblc to print proposals and brouchure for meetings

log on to my account

and it says my domain is unavailable

ask the i/c, he says i have to try other coms

n i tried like 5 before one finally accepted me 0.o

just what is happening to me

guess all i could say is...

yabba dabba dooooooo!!

ICCS!! 2010 :D

2010-09-11T21:00:00.000+08:00

quoting amanda, too many things too little time

so i will keep it short

i went ICCS finally!

feel good to spring clean the places for the animals and plants there

ahaha they celebrated new year on 110910 =)

n i heart the above pict :D

=(

2010-09-07T00:48:00.000+08:00

=(

n nice blog, it knows i am sad so the layout became spoilt too.
will give you a new look as soon as i have the time.
then everything will be brand new.
it will be =) again.

Campus in a Tropical Rainforest :D

2010-09-04T02:53:00.000+08:00

I am unable to go to sleep thanks to something really silly that i did yesterday. Brain isn't performing at a capacity to allow me to do school work so i thought i might to a little blogging then =P this, is citr part 1..

I got on to this 'zei chuan' last semester. Initially thought i would just be a member inside doing some saikang (which i realised i can be really good at) but apparently i was wrong. Met up with the other two girls and tadah, we are the committee 0.o. Things were really tough initially cuz the three of us knew nothing about how things work, how to do proposals, what to tell the different parties involved and a lot more. felt a little detached at first because when i got in, things were sort of planned out already. but i love the projects proposed. rooftop garden, vertical greening, tree planting, and conservation. i am really a hands on person, i don't like to do the proposal writing, and stuff. but since i am interested in the projects, alright, stay on, i told myself. to convince myself, i recalled someone told me that if you are passionate about something, you shouldn't stay on the hands on/help out stage, you should go up and be at the planning stage, only like this, can you make a difference (though now, i am still quite reluctant to follow this lol). okie, so stayed on..had countless meetings, countless revision of the proposals, countless brainstorming.

but things don't always work to our desires. problems occurred. many problems. sometimes i really wonder how can something as simple as planting be so complicated. but this is also when i start to see the adult world.

learnt a lot from fu lu shou. first time i really see issues from working people's point of view. professionality. we have to be careful with phrasing. one matter requires consultation with many departments and you got bounced here and there. dept promise you something and never get back. pw's minutes is just child's play, the real one took me almost 8 drafts. refreshments for meetings. the top down bottom up approach. how academics, sch admin, corporate sponsors can have polar concerns and need to be reconcile and the list goes on. culture shock.

despite all this, i haven't regret my choice yet. cuz as hongyi mentioned, it gave me great exposure, and most importantly, i am already on the zei chuan and now i want to see the proposal turn into reality :) bonus is the great people i am working with. we are now known as Peijin Amanda Peiyee under supervision of fulushou. although always in a state of 'too many things, too little time' (quoting boss amanda), i believe we will get there. hopefully everything turns out fine. hopefully recruitment would bring awesome teammates :D

now i am shocked at the length that i have typed XD

kids =)

2010-09-03T00:56:00.000+08:00

i met some kids today, real genuine kids :)

great experience back again

really felt different tutoring them compared to my paid tuition

whole bunch of naughty noisy but cute kids

not that my tutees are not cute

but they are perhaps a little bit scared of this TEACHER

compared to jiejie

and so behaved particularly well

realised a lot of things i have learnt in minds

apply to the tutoring session too

ahaha just that now there is a briefing

but there is none for minds

lol, so i learnt it the hands-on way last time

interestingly

no sweets

thats the rule

so xl, i can't bribe them =P

but i like the rationale behind it

they shld work for the sense of achievement and not the sweets

though i think when i was that age

sweets appeal to me much more

and i witnessed prejudice and discrimination

sincerely sincerely hope that its just a kids' affair

that kind of fight today, friends tmr stuff

lucky the kid is optimistic

read a girl's journal

reminded me of someone in minds

things that i want to try

but afraid i am not up to the job

and of course not forgetting

all the funny things that kids can think of

all the SUPER LOUD laughters

the back to basics feeling

...

make my day

and yes

11+7=18 :)

not making any sentences

cuz..good night Zzzzz

transition

2010-08-31T21:04:00.000+08:00

i am like a maths teacher who got very very angry with a particular event

guess you guys heard me mention before

the maths teacher phenomenon

just that now, i am not dealing with kids but with stress

i believe i am facing this transition period and this moment is the peak haha

year 1 to year 2

non-citr to citr

my uncle

etc

and i am fighting this change as if i am WBC and they are some foreign bodies

hopefully, i will still be MYSELF after this

i don't want to change how i view this world as when i am younger

but maybe after all this

i will learn to think deeper than before

think deep deep like yk/dl

but is this what i want?

nonetheless

i will

MOVE ON

and i will learn to appreciate what i have and ok, whine less

i want to end this post (which may seems emo)

with a LIGHTER NOTE :D

my internet fixed itself miraculously

n things will turn out fine

if not, i will learn from it

whee :D

haha and today i forgotten to take my thumbdrive out of the cblc computer

(which reminded me of jaymie's post after that)

but amazingly

a box popped out upon log off

saying something like

'have you forgotten your thumbdrive?'

thumb up, cblc! :D

1 hour past my bedtime

2010-08-27T00:57:00.000+08:00

i am one hour past my bedtime

pgp lan is on strike, i wonder is it the data point, my lan port or lan cable?

and the wireless is super weak=slow

and i spend over an hour for a 2-mins-can-finish adobe flash player download

and i can't watch yog closing ceremony with the not-working CIT

all the IT stuff

together

one night =O

and citr is having problems again

felt so backstabbed by the admin

how come like that

how come so complicated

i just want to plant some trees

will mama earth shake her head when she see this?

on a lighter note

i finally bought my mirco sd card reader, thumbdrives at a lower than expected price,

i got my hair accessories,

my textbook arrived already,

naiyi taught me a little french,

my pencil case is fully equipped

i might be able to eat my fudge cake tmr :)

tmr is a brand new day

good night,world :)

n happy yog :)

throw all my posts all!

2010-08-23T22:18:00.000+08:00

this post is going to be really random, almost qualifying as a mindpost:0

a look at the list

19th and citr, eh some other days bahs =P

my hols adventures, i seem to have forgotten a lot, eh so nvm

hah, my library books, okie, i borrow books that are un-readable,

in an english slang which i had a hard time understanding,

so yea, never judge a book by its covers

and and i read 2+1 books this holidays! =)

to kill a mockingbird (FINALLY)!

the content was not what i imagined it to be

but its really nice and warm

despite me having some problems with the culture part

shopaholic!

so now i know its really different from the movie

the lost symbol!

alright, i got myself hooked onto it first week of school

so 509 pages in 2 days

which explained why i am in a daze

lost between 2 worlds

but its awesome!

as usual with dan brown :D

and i realise i have an unhealthy reading habit

i make it my full time commitment once i am on it

maybe i should use conditioning next time haha!

next, laopa

i want to tell cmk that i miss you!

n i realise u cant go with me to take oath when we are 21 le

but i will always remember you

and your 'dude' and 'muthu'

and your wives n many kids in the lockers

(haha, u still rmb or not?)

my room

i am stuck here all alone

o daoed me

but nvm, i had a new friend!

she is an exchange student from cambodia

so cool!

but i forgot to ask what is her room

and poor face recognition

i forgot what she looks like

i wan b12l7 to be like b12l8!!

and naiyi, if u happen to be reading this

i typed all the above on the day 通天干探's last ep day at 10plus

because the freaking CIT is not buffering channel u

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

okie, end of random post =)

thank you to anyone who ever make it to here

few years down the road, i will still smile at this :D

2010-08-20T13:05:00.000+08:00

How To Unscrew Caps?

daomin telling waiter:

do you have a rubber band? those red red ones?

can tie it around the cap and turn..

*turning the cap WITHOUT the rubber band*

POP!

out comes the cap.

Background:

AHAHAHAHHAHAHAH

doctor. hands which produce miracles.

i don't know why, but this really makes my day. haha.

monday shall be the day

2010-08-20T12:57:00.000+08:00

i am unprepared for school.

i just got my planner yesterday.

(thankew daomin for it! if not, i wonder when will i ever get a decent one that i like)

i haven't gotten all my textbooks.

as of today, my pencil case is still missing an eraser.

monday shall be the day.

i shall aim to get everyday good n proper.

n i shall post all i want to blog on this very space.

so that i have more brain space n feel ready for school

monday.

dig a hole

2010-08-08T00:22:00.000+08:00

seriously

i didn't bring my brain out today

seriously

this+this+that

2010-08-03T15:06:00.000+08:00

i realised i have been blogging in my mind before sleep this few days, there is just random stuff that happened here and there that i want to pen down so that i can recall next time. the blog list in my brain is queuing up.

shall leave the queue here to serve as retrival cues next time when i finally got the blogging mood :P

my 19th year old post (equivalent to the very 1st guy who started queuing for iphone4)
CiTR (this is definitely the second guy, its up in my brain even before sem2's finals)
my hols' adventures (basically how i idle my time away, jus a repackage to show how 'productive' i am)
my mindpost, erm yea, on my library books :)
cmk, my laoba
my new pgp room

if only i have made all these posts (& few others ones which my brain decided to forget) appear on this very space instead of taking up spaces in my brain, if only there is this sync function. haha

da WORLD CUP FEVER!!

2010-07-14T01:37:00.001+08:00

world cup 2010 is finally over!

SPAIN won =)
didn't manage to watch a single full match this time round
so i haven't gotten the chance to try out my method of remembering which team is which!

but anyway, thanks to yuting for the live commentary for the last two matches

when i was night cycling and in lalaland finding my voice.

yuting, those sms were great man!

but i know nothing beats watching it live

and go GOALLL like the uncles at the kopitiam near my hse =P

haha, but if someone asks me what i remember this time for this wc,

ITS PAUL!

o well, another 4 years wait

for now, let's see ickle and Lardee with their football craze at Milk Toof! =)

National day and yog up next! :D

my dear 151

2010-07-04T21:58:00.001+08:00

dear 151

i bet you know why i wrote to you. We have been friends for so many years, ever since i shifted out of bukit panjang. However, that doesn't give you the reason to play tricks on me right? why is that everytime i walk to the bus stop, you made sure you reach it faster than i do? and you just happily continue your journey, right in front of me.

yesterday, you made it even worse. you knew i had to rush home from tuition place and yet you made me wait at the busstop for 45 minutes?! do you know i badly wanted to PEE that time? the 45 minutes could have gotten me home earlier! after i sms g and called mummy and you heard that she wants me to take the next bus to the nearest toilet, you fought the other buses to become the very NEXT BUS..interesting huh? obviously, i joined the few other sardines on you and it made it so difficult for me to alight at somewhere with a toilet so i decided to bear with it.

Oh, did you realise an unusual number of people asked your bus uncle for directions and that he sounded unusually friendly and unusually blur? when he picked up his call, i thought there was some flood again somewhere and you had to change your route! at that instance, i pity my bladder who is going to suffer some internal injuries any time soon. well it turn out that your wu long bus uncle did not punch card when he brought you out of kr terminal (i assume that since the person on the other side ask him where is the bus!)

well, then i found a seat which i need desperately to pacify you-know-what. Another uncle came to sit beside me, too near a distance since he is a bit bigger than average. you know he had this handphone with a screen that is bigger than average too. i wonder if it is designed such a way in order for 3 people to look at it simultaneously because i can see what he sms...His friend won consolation prize and the friend is treating him to lunch tomorrow >.< alright, i know i should not do this especially when his phone's wallpaper is some governmental office's logo but his phone is really that big!!

oops, i forgot i am supposed to complain about you. anyway, that about all. at least you sent me home, still with the bursting bladder though, i had to call and ask mama to open the door before i reach, that's how serious it is! so i hope you stop all these games already alright! we are so old already, time to be more mature! don't you dare to os writing to a bus is immature!

friends forever,
peiyee =)

p.s. to my pee factory, i am so sorry i made you go through all these ever since p1's speech & drama class and the time i drank mama's whole pot of barley during kindergarden..

搬家咯！

2010-06-20T21:21:00.001+08:00

Don't be mistaken!

i am not shifting house again, as for now

had a conversation with mummy today

and i realise my memory is starting to spring clean my old houses out!

so i shall jot down these places where i once

left my footprints, fingerprints, blah blah blah =)

shifted around 7 times before i came to singapore

cuz different ppl took turns to take care of me and mama, haha

too young to remember but its anywhere between johore and ipoh

227, pending road

the home where i ate a lot of nutella breadspread

thinking they are chocolate

206, petir road

started attening kindergarden at the cc

(oops, mama forgot to enroll me for nursery :P)

and then soon after, i am off to primary school :)

my school bus is 20X (X=3,4,5 or 6 i forgot)

i rmb the unit number is #07-587!

XXX, XXX road

a few months there before we can shift to 273

short stay so i cant remember all the details

its near bangkit road too

remember an aquarium there

and one of the fish died so mama had to buy one back

lilin always have stomachache there

so she seems to be forever sitting on the potty

made mum real angry once when i refused to drink the e.xcel stuff

so she packed my stuff in my fav bag ahma gave me

and ask me 离家出走, haha

273, bangkit road

the house i stayed the longest (around 5 years)

i can remember the whole address plus house phone number orh

LOVE THIS PLACE :D
my whole family painted the house ourselves

my first computer

cycling

skating down the grass slope outside my house with a cardboard

a lot a lot

507, segar road

no house phone

right beside greenridge primary school

but i already graduated from there then o.0

64, fulton road

last time my hse had a house phone

自懂事以来的 first terrace

had a salt & pepper miniature schnauzer

totally objected to having him at first

in the end, i am the one clearing his business and cleaning him

so i kinda miss him now T.T

can see the 三跪一拜 from my house

landmark: guang ming shan

36, hemsley ave

nice garden with hibiscus! :)

at serangoon garden,

meaning near chomp chomp

meaning GOOD FOOD!

landmark: chomp chomp lo!

643, hougang ave 8

o level-ing there

ang moh supermart there

643, hougang ave 8

yep, not typo, i shifted to another unit in the same block

cannot remember the unit number for both the units thou =S

landmark: xin ming sec sch

268D, compassvale link

another favourite!

because its so near to mrt

and its those new HDB

nice house :D

landmark: nil

580, hougang ave 4

super near to hougang green

will miss the tau huay, kway chap, and bookshop there

always telling people who asked me where i live

that i lived near IMH, not INSIDE IMH

landmark: IMH

20, hougang ave 3

i am neighbour with Geraldine!!! =))

the most convenient house so far

it had buses that go anywhere!

and just 2 stops away from kovan mrt

not forgetting nice food too

landmark: SRJC

a quick count, i have shifted house 19 times!

so on an average, its once a year

haha, can qualify as an experienced house mover already

and i do know quite a number of buses :))

but i hope i can stop moving

all the stickers are leaving marks on my ic....

i want to be a...

2010-06-18T14:52:00.000+08:00

I WANT TO BE A...

I want to be a teacher because teachers are very clever.

They know about a lot of things.

They teach many students and help them in their work.

My teachers are very nice to me so i want to be like them in the future.

Remembered when we are younger, teachers would always ask us to write about our ambitions. Without fail, my ambition is to be a teacher. I can't really remember what I wrote but it would be something along that line. Frankly speaking, at that age, I didn't really know what I want to be in the future nor do I have the burning passion to be like those tall adults standing infront of the class, talking at an unusual loud volume and always making us learn things that i don't know why we are learning them for. The ambition I wrote down was just the shortlisted ambition i made from an already very short list of ambitions i knew. Back at that time, i guess every 小不点 in the class only knows police, air stewardess, nurses, doctors, lawyers, actors/actresses, and maybe for a rare few, engineeers, on top of teachers. So, I chose teacher. =)

And then, time had wings and I grew taller, I knew a lot more about other occupations. Despite so, i somehow felt that i still wanted to be a teacher, although i knew accountant earns a lot, doctors and laywers enjoy high prestige, event planners can face many interesing challenges and yadah yadah. So, alright, i wanted to be a teacher but i didn't know why because i never really sat down and think of the reasons.

Then came A levels and application for scholarship and stuff. Oops, I had interviews to attend to. There, interviewers would ask me to justify my decision, which meant lisitng reason 1, 2, 3 to convince them... ... So with that, i gave a very disorganised explanation to the police hq psychologist. Disorganised because i had a lot to say but simply don't know how to express myself, to the extent that my mind went blank and gave the example of teachers asking us to drink more water as a form of concern (well, i still think its ok to say that but apparently, thats not a very strong point T.T, esp judging from the psychologist's expression >.<)

For the days that followed, more interviewers asked the same million bucks question. Why be a teacher? Why only apply this and not that? Then, people around me also asked the same questions. That's the period when i really delve about what i really want. I am not sure if ths is really what i would want in the future, but for now, it is :)

After organising my memory bank and thoughts and forcing myself to think and piece the big picture, i think i want to be a teacher because...

I want to make a difference. Motivation behind it is probably because I want to pay it forward, something that Mr Ng enlightened me about. Typical story, I didn't come from a perfect family. I have been through a lot of stuff when i was younger, big big potential triggers that may cause me to go stray and not be the peiyee i am now. Not that my teachers did some extraordinary acts that touched me and made me remain good, in fact, they did nothing because they didn't even know i was feeling down. However, i believe i still owe it to them because at least they made me enjoy schooling when i was younger, so that i felt i had something to work towards to and not give up on myself. A teacher can play a very very important part in a person's life. Though other occupations do have their own challenges and accomplishments, i think nothing beats the teachers' because what they are influencing is a kid's character and development. My teachers gave me a healthy start so i want to do the same for other kids too =)

I had good teachers. Yes, i had awesome teachers, mr jumat, ms lee, ms tan, mr ng and ms wassan to name a few. They made learning different. Some really cared for your welfare, some had marvellous teaching skills, some simply knew how to build good rapport with the class where a teacher-student relationship can be maintained as a friend-friend relationship. I admire them for that and i want to be like them. Again, to pay it forward. =)

I thought my family background can allow me to help certain kids =)

I want to be in touch with kids. Reason? Simplicity. I realise adults think a lot. Though there may still be office politics even in a school environment but at least i get to teach the kids. Naughty at times, they give insights and remarks that adults can never think of. i like this feeling =)

I still feel that I want to be a teacher after so many years.

yup, that's about all i can recall for now. I have to admit that despite all that i want to do as a good teacher, there are bound to be limitations. I may have the desire to be a good teacher but i might not have the ability to. Not everyone knows the tricks to make students gain knowledge happily and willingly, not everyone can click with the kids, not everyone can cope with the demand of being a teacher. However, i will do my best and make sure the passion stays =)

P.S. other random reasons: eat canteen food which is supposedly healthier :P no need to fight with the traffic jam because school starts earlier than office :P can know the lastest youth's stuff from the kiddy informers :P enjoy school holidays (alright, i know there is still work, at least i can dress informally then) :P can rehearse national anthem and pledge everyday :P can see the kids grow and how they fight and argue and yet continued to be friends the next day :P mark exams paper after mine got marked for almost 2o years :P can be in charge of different CCAs and learn a lot of new things! :P and many other things that are exclusive to a teacher =)

school holidaying

2010-06-18T14:42:00.000+08:00

School holidaying means i spend my holidays in school, which is kind of true since i have been going to school quite oftenly and this is even my 3rd day in a row in school already. The first 2 days thanks to the huge rain which makes 'flood' in singapore possible. had another meeting in school this morning, so now i am happily playing with my ahaha while i wait for 5pm to take my saliva sample. Alright, shall spend the next 2 hours to do some intensive blogging!

walking is a goody form of exercise too =)

2010-06-14T23:12:00.000+08:00

i realised i walked a lot recently

my 战绩with my cotton on rubi sandals so far!

2 hrs walk from vivo to pgp

2 hrs around half of nus

4 hrs walk around hougang

N hours walk in pc show for two days

3 hrs walk around bugis

i heard walking burn fats

so bye bye fats! =)

but, i ate a lot too =P

and to my sandals

thou u are not the best walking khaki

(esp when compared to yuting's)

but unfortunately, i am always wearing you whenever i need to walk a lot

so thank you!

and i will treasure my last few days with you before u snap =X

my hols has reach a point i start to talk to my sandals

lol..may a non-contract job lobang drop from the sky soon!

AnD

2010-06-10T17:25:00.000+08:00

i seriously smell something fishy, prawny and crabby between A and D

if there is indeed sth,

to D: you are really very very sick and i am going to turn very nasty,

even though idk how nasty i can get

to A: you only make me more wary and scared of you, really

thank you =)

2010-06-01T01:12:00.000+08:00

Told myself that whatever i got for my first uni maths module, i am going to have this post

ma1505 is scary,

because my classmates are all engineers

because my frequecy doesn't match the lecturer's

because uni maths is very diiferent from jc maths

because my maths standard isn't that good to survive uni maths

but it turn out to be better than i expected, though not the best,

and this would be impossible without the following people =)

thank you gorgor

for your well wishes, reminders, shortcuts, past years papers

and your ears and eyes for my whining

about how i am murdered by the assessment =)

thank you yuting

for the wonderful detailed booklet of tutorial solutions and extra details

(that booklet is AMAZING),

also, you ears for my whining too

(esp after i come back from src =P)

and your all your advices regarding the calculator and exam tricks

(ahaha i still rmb)

thank you AK, zinmon, yuthi and khine

okie, thank you AK because you indirectly helped me

by passing the lecture package cds to zinmon, yuthi and khine

and thank you to the 3 burmese girls

for offering to lend me the cds to burn

haha, and at least i am not alone in taking this module =)

thank you to the tutorial booklet tutor
i don't know who she is but she is definitely an A++ tutor

detailed and clear tutorial solutions

with GOOD elaborations and super cool summary

thank you to the lecturer in the CD

the lecture series in the cd was recored in 2006

i don't know who is the lecturer but he is definitely an A++++++++, AWESOME lecturer

when i don't understand my lecturer (which is almost everytime)

the cd lecturer ALWAYS enlighten me

with good explanations, extra elaborations, illustrations and summary

plus he conducts revision, and give reminders for exam (thou its N.A to me =P)!

he is like my saviour! ahaha

thank you to my lecturer cum tutor

although i don't understand what he is talking about

but i think he tried his best and is prepared for lectures

although he likes to suan me when i ask questions

(will always remember his 'all engineers will do that!'

and 'this is just simple algebraic manipulation'),

but he will tried his best to explain and make sure i get it

and his suan-ing 激发 me to not give up!

lastly, thank you to anybody who hear me whine about ma1505 before

and a little thank you to my cheat sheet =)

although i could have squeeze more stuff in

after seeing how cramped yuting's and other ppl's cheatsheet is,

you didn't fail me

and i think my cheatsheet is very neat! (lol, so 自恋 =S)

although not all the above will get to read this,

but i really want to put this down so that i can remember

the extra efforts that have to be put in ,

like listen to lecture twice, review other materials

and MOST IMPORTANTLY, past year papers,

to just get a decent grade in uni maths

and also to remember the people who have helped me

this module is super impactful on me

cuz this is the first time maths can be so UNFAMILIAR to me

and somemore it is the first step i am taking in my desire to minor in maths =S

so 谢谢！=)

and i still love maths ^^

what have you been doing laobei!

2010-06-01T00:38:00.000+08:00

okie, i am officially a yr 2 student next sem

since today is a kongbu exam results release day,

i shall jot down my 10 modules taken so far

09/10 sem 1

el1101e - english

not forgetting the crazy project with xiangling, yuting and chris XD

pl1101e - psychology

psych psych psych with tutoral at 8am =)

se1101e - sea studies

assignments done very badly =S

sw1101e - social work

must talk talk talk during tutorial =O

(forgot module code) - genes and society

BIO! ^^

09/10 sem 2

ma1505 - mathematics

killer module where everyone is an engineer

and i don't get what the lecturer is talking about

pl2131 - stats and research

a very unique lecturer

pl3235- social psychology

interesting!

pl3236 - abnormal psychology

scary, both content and assessment

sss1207 -natural heritage

yesh! i am now more educated about nature in singapore =)

but what have i been doing?!!!

i actually allowed my grades to drop!

omg, to think my commitment in sem 1 is so much higher with the

16hrs weekly tuition, gc and yep

and my sem 2 is like slack slack with only citr popping out recently

time to reflect

perhaps last sem i have less time so i worry more and study harder?

so this sem 就懈怠!

so much until abnormal psych's grade just make it to moe's requirement

(heng i am not going to be a clinical psychologist next time)

and i am getting more and more childish

i am starting to have likes and dislikes (no more of this next time! =))

alright, as mum said, this drop will give me MORE (yes much more) room for improvement!

next sem must 发奋图强

must learn from my two role models, one fake and one real elder sibling =)

and naiyi. naima, remember to cane me if u find me lazing around next sem!

CAKES

2010-05-26T23:37:00.000+08:00

suddenly feel like eating cakes

so i shall blog to 说蛋糕止渴 :)

beware, the following is totally random

hmm, 2010 is a cake year for me!

think i have eaten the most cake this year

because of all those bday cakes with cluster

my bday cakes

random cakes

and not forgetting the N choc fudge cakes from MEGABITES

shall advertise for choc fudge cake from megabites

well, its simply DELICIOUS

thats all, one word tells it all =P

its so nice it became my way of saying thank you

i gave one to gorgor

one to a grandjunior

and one invisible one to a junior XD

well, if u dun like choc fudge cake

u can go for cheese cake,

they have hazel nut cheesecake

american cheesecake

blueberry cheesecake =)

*disclaimer: i dun earn commission for this*

i hope i can eat a cake now XD

thou i don't really have a liking for cheesecake

i wish one day i can buy one selling at half price after 9 plus from cafe cartel, ahahaha

the weirdy weirdy dream

2010-05-26T23:14:00.000+08:00

I realised naiyi posted her weird dream, so i shall post mine too!

ahaha, yea, its the same one i told on msn.

In my dream..

i dreamt that i SUDDENLY RECALLED i gave birth to a baby boy a year ago

the kid has a nickname, GoLi (marbles)

and yes, i was shocked at what i have recalled so i went to look up GoLi's father

hah, interested to know who is the daddy bahs

well, he was a senior whom i spoke less than 2o sentences to

(lol, i have no idea how come i dreamt of him either!! no link at all!)

but anyway, in my dream, it seemed to be arranged by our parents

that we should have a kid together 0.o

but apparently, i forgot about it until one year later

then everything is quite blurry

i carried GoLi, saw his current girlfriend who is someone i don't know but very pretty ^^

but i knew at the end of the dream,

i was telling myself...

This is false memory

and i woke up finding myself trying to recall what happen one year ago -.-

i am just lacking the cold sweat

quite scary if this is true

imagine u did something and u totally forgot about it

only to remember it some time later

like those mentioned in psych tb

when u chose to repress and forget something that is very traumatic

but it is also possible that people lead you to believe that

something has taken place last time when it hasn't

and you believed it to be true

yea i shall bloggg soonnnnn..

2010-05-21T01:46:00.000+08:00

i told myself i want to blog

before that rusty brain of mine decides to have spring cleaning one day
but i admit
I AM LAZY!

pgp bus uncles

2010-05-04T03:43:00.000+08:00

yep, the title is pgp bus uncles :)

the MOTIVATION (as ma1505 lecturer always says so) behind this post:

yuting couldn't feel her expected highness and holiday day mood after her last paper today. She attributed it to the 'not so good' ending. So, she expected that she might only feel the highness when she meet me for movie later at night. Next up, she boarded the shuttle bus. From the bus mirror, she spotted a mole, then she realised the driver was WANG ZHAO JUN whom she apparently shared great round shit with.

OKIE, and here comes the main highlight, WANG ZHAO JUN triggered her holiday mood and she felt really happy!

Since don't know when,

our cluster is like obsessed with bus uncles, perhaps because we have to take numerous shuttle buses to commute within NUS everyday.

Since don't know when,

we started to take note the names of the bus uncles

Since don't know when,

we started to see who is the bus uncle whenever we board the bus

Since don't know when,

yuting will always sms us

whenever she is either in Wang Zhao Jun or Ah Too's buses

Since don't know when,

we will include discussion of bus uncles in our conversation

if i am not wrong,

it all started with pam expressing her desire to see Ah Too

Caught his cute comments on those ppl crossing roads one day

it will make ur day :D

haha, but its really "i really don't know how to describe" when i heard the story from yuting. somehow, the shuttle bus uncles have such influence.

and it make me realise this is one of the many unique experiences

that the 6 of us share

but a pity, 天无不散之筵席

so we are going to make full use of the remaining stay in pgp this sem!

5th - 7th may =)))

P.S. i realised i never board mr wang's bus before, lol

OOOH YESH!!

2010-05-04T03:17:00.000+08:00

its 3.17 am now!! and i just bathed less than half an hour ago. ohyes!

like what naiyi said, 3rd may 10 is a happy day!

just like 2nd dec 09 was

amazingly i can still remember it. it shows how impactful uni exams are:)

"soup spooned" (the mushroon soup is way too mushroomy o.0)

and watch iron man 2 with yuting,

my fellow 'last paper ends on 3rd may' kaki!

CHAO HAO KAN DE!

Haha, in the end we missed the last bus back to pgp by about 1o minutes

so WE DECIDED TO TAKE BUS 11!

with that, we took 2hrs from vivo to pgp

through the temple, the numerous petrol stations (about 5-6 i guess), the apartment blocks, the landed property, PSA, the numerous pubs leading to haw par villa, haw par villa, science park and finally PGP!

and so many eyes were on us!

hee eyes of taxi uncles i meant

see how they slow down (1 even honked) and 'beow' us,

and there is this serious oversupply of taxis this area

in a traffic light junction, there can be like 8 taxis, 8 empty ones

but we are like naughty girls who spent all our money

...thus have to walk home =P

what an experience yea.

=))

joke of the sem

2010-03-31T05:29:00.000+08:00

The pgp lift played a prank on us.

Yes, the PGP LIFT.

I never knew residences' lifts play april fool's joke too, haha.

This is what happened.

Two wanderers went down to nanyang supermarket to buy some stuff.

With some money.

With only a transponder.

Without any phone.

After shopping is done, we took the infamous b12l8 lift.

Everything as usual.

Press transponder, wait for the light, press button 8.

And lift went up, slowly as usual.

Then it stopped and the doors opened.

oh, the kitchen cleaning auntie is outside waiting for the lift too :)

So out we went and in she entered.

Then, geraldine tried opening the cluster gate with her transponder.

But, no reponse.

No usual "beep" sound.

peiyee: eh, no battery? but i thought mine was the one battery low?

geraldine: only got one transponder leh..try the lift again see got problem? or try calling daomin? like last time how she called pam? But this time must louder, daomin is so far away.

...

DAOMIN!!! DAOMIN!!!

(banging of cluster gate)

DAOMIN DAOMIN DAOMIN!!!!

...

10 minutes later

DAOMIN!! DAOMIN!!

(still banging of cluster gate)

...

(gave up and went to try the lift)

geraldine: what if got people inside?

peiyee: then we go down and come up again lor.

...

The lift went from X floor up to 8th floor but didn't open.

Then 8 change to 7.

(lift door open, weird hor)

but our neighbour from room A is inside!!

(our faces brightened up)

(but she doesn't seem to be coming out? )

peiyee: 可以帮我们开门吗？我们开不到。

("huh?" look on her face)

neighbour: 这是七楼耶，...，电梯怪怪的。

i turned back and looked

yes, one big 7 on the wall (-_-")

七楼.

if anyone on 7th floor is in their room,

daomin should be rather famous now.

yuitng, this should make your day bahs,

no, maybe year.

healthy lifestyle week :)

2010-03-27T00:46:00.000+08:00

monday

back to nj grab blender

rushed back to nus

chiong from yih to lt32 on BUS 11

in 8 minutes!

tuesday

ice skating

super energy consuming for noobs

skating ALONG the ring

wednesday

jogging with shermin!

jogged from 8th lane to 2nd lane

NON-STOP

thats like so much more than nafa ^^

thursday

lilies folding

exercises for my 10 fingers :D

friday

2 hours CiTR walk

from pgp all the way to SRC through fos

(and i see the native garden and vertical garden! ^^)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY MILK TOOF

2010-03-22T20:42:00.000+08:00

hah, i know its not much of my business but..

MY MILK TOOF IS ONE YEAR OLD! :D

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ickle & Lardee!

thanks for always making my day

happy growing :D

agn! but this time it is ULTIMATE SLOWNESS

2010-03-21T22:24:00.000+08:00

since you said you want to close the windows, so be it

凶什么凶! T.T

nonetheless, i am sorry

and i really felt very awful about it

but if i agree, it will only do you more bad

who says slow and steady wins the race
sometimes slow may not even equate steady

have learnt my lesson

next time eyes, ears, heart, brain, etc etc must open big big

okie, now must write sth nice and happy
sungei buloh trip with meetoh primary!

its a cutie bunch of 40 p3/4 kids =)

i nearly forgot this gonna be the size

that i am going to handle in a few years' time

energetic, talkative, inquisitive, naive, active, imaginative

and so much more.

and they were so cool, could spot so many animals even before i do!

really miss being a kid! :D

A lolipop a day makes the happy kid in you stays :)

settled.

2010-03-17T00:24:00.001+08:00

settled.

i felt grown up a little

but for some reasons i felt odd at the same time

canon will do the trick :)

stop being a gongkia

2010-03-16T20:16:00.000+08:00

okie, i think i should ask

now i want to know the ans

becuase i can't believe i didn't catch it

but its so malu

where can i get the courage?

in yeeyee? in my junkfood? in my homework? in multi-tasking?

... ...

the little boy with his one dollar coin

2010-03-02T12:18:00.000+08:00

tuesday, 2nd march 2010

laobei is mugging in pgp for her maths test the day after
she went down to canteen to dabao her lunch and buy some post-its
on her way there, she saw a little boy skipping happily
they smiled to each other
then he flashed out his shiny gold coin
and exclaimed in his cute little voice
BUY ICE CREAM! :D

the little boy really made laobei's day
laobei hopes she can behave like the little boy too.

when is the last time you felt so happy over a gold coin?

ITS A HAPPY DAY :)

2010-02-14T04:13:00.000+08:00

HAPPY CHI NEW YEAR!

新年快乐！:)

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TOO <3

touched

2010-02-12T22:52:00.000+08:00

sorry guys i behaved kinda anormally :P

maybe due to the shock and this feeling clashed with my usual CNY excitement

lol, but i really touched by all those convos

shall leave it here so that i can remember

loss, yea i spelt it wrongly

LOST, where is ah oink

ah oink came online immediately (OMG) after that

but apparently didn't talk to me

surprised i felt a little anger

LOST, where are you yingxian?

yingxian came and talked to me!! so cool!

and it helped a lot

thanks mei nv :)

LOST..i need to talk

god aka superman came and offered me this link

www.streetdirectory.com >.<

and we played our guessing game and SAVED it

LOST..i need to talk

mr social worker with his zhi ye bing

called and talked to me for i think about 2 hours

lol..zhi ye bing ah..but i glad you found your passion,

you really make a good social worker

but i am a bad client, i am still deciding between option 4 or 5

LOST..i need to talk

gorgor's turn

yea will take good care of myself

btw, my pah carh recovered, REALLY :)

LOST..i need to talk

GERALDINE

ahahaha and her pam's face

nth much but it put a smile on my face

Thank you peeps ^^

feel so happy now

whoots

my CNY mood is back :)

新年来咯！新年来咯！

to the tune of 新年来咯song, lol ^^

what a day

2010-02-11T22:59:00.000+08:00

today is a special thursday

while walking down the stairs from central library,

one clumsy elephant elegantly fell down 2 steps

i hope there is this spotlight effect

so that i had successfully overestimated

the number of people who noticed this elephant

at night

geraldine was talking about gags

lol and i got this call from a stranger saying he had a delivery for me

haha, gags? i thought to myself

so off to meeting room 3

yea, its so much worse and awkward than farrer park

SPEECHLESS

LOST

i think goddess and qianjin should be settling down in australia

kinda weird not seeing slowpoke online T.T

hope they are doing fine

hope the internet there is doing fine

and next up, QAD, its your turn!

i am so going to miss you peeps

retrieval cues

2010-02-05T23:49:00.001+08:00

in laobei's language

someone's lousy affective forecasting last year

(its human nature thou, so..forgiven)

the kongbu question that stumped me this year

(no matter how scared you are)

the sweet dream of talking to a dog through the phone

okie, it should be in my long term memory now

blk 12 lvl 8-ing

2010-01-27T20:02:00.000+08:00

hmm, as requested, blk 12 lvl 8 presents

the romantic story of little pam and little ahem

ahem: pamela, i love you

pam: i love you too! (in the deep fried egg accent)

topic of discussion: the return of the condor heroes

someone: eh and the yang guo also call gugu, gugu

another SOMEONE: huh, got wu ya (crow) de ah :D

i am too full to continue...

the new da wei wang

2010-01-27T19:55:00.001+08:00

i can't believe i had this and a honeydew for dinner

and i finished everything in like less than half an hour!

i feel food in my throat now ><

peiyee loves her cluster <3

2010-01-21T23:21:00.000+08:00

I have a wonderful cluster in this supposedly anti social pgp.

different people from different schs and different faculty, with different personalities, different likes and dislikes but we just clicked :D

hee, had a wonderful chat with the peeps today and yesterday

yesterday it was about laughters and i think we had laughter overdose..lol

and i especially like the topic today! somehow we are trying to recall what we did in the past. and things just keep coming back. i thought i must really blog it down lest i forget these memories (that of the past and of course those with the blk 12 lvl 8 -ians) with my STM :)

hmm random stuff that i can still rmb..

the cartoons we watched when we are younger!

flintstones (rmb the melody?)

power ranger (the aiyayaya robot, the watch that make a sound)

ninja turtle (pizza!)

rugrats

casper (they said sth classic abt the movie which i can't really recall)

etc etc

and i suddenly thought of angel's simpsons :D

then there is this digimon, pokemon, and the different series, lol

our games!

hopscotch (rmb how we chope the place with our water bottle?)

catching

tamagochi (how the pet always die after a few days)

super mario!

gameboys

beyblade

(and i realise i am be quite pro in 'gaming' too, the wonderful time with papa)

etc etc

the classics TV shows (the topic that sparked off the whole convo!)

xiao ao jiang hu

shen diao xia lv

bo ying ren (meepok, and chen mei guang guang guang ><)

gan gan zuo ge kai xin ren

dong you ji

pck

aiyoyo lao shi

huan zhu ge ge

other random stuff

wet tissue throwing in toilet

autograph booking in pri 6 (with the whats your fav food, likes and dislikes, poems, 100% friend, 90% friends, blah blah)

the telephone coil thingy we use to secure our wallet :D (swing swing swing)
how we hang our water bottle around our neck and bring it to recess

da ge da around 1994

(reminded me how mama complained that papa spent a whole 1K on one)

pagers (and how to operate it)

our first HP

how telephone numbers evolved to include a 6

and many many other things

hah, no much xiao dians with me blogging about it,

but when one really talk about it with close peeps,

there is sth to laugh about almost every other second, really LMAO >.<

hen is right,we are the privileged batch

to have seen all the changes and technological advances

i know only today that the Internet is younger than us and the domains story

it will definitely be interesting to know what answers

kids from other age group can share

realised we talked about a lot of things under the sun

perhaps we are away from home?

learn real lots from them

and realise we actually understand each other quite well :D

with our daidee cards, door tags and many many more

ahaha i think i got influenced by dajie from the ppt trip

instead of having my chou shis being penned down,

maybe this time i should pen down our cluster's chou shi too..

countless

'go ubin need passport mah huh?'

oops, i am still not blogging in proper sentences...

hello 2010!!

2010-01-09T23:26:00.000+08:00

hee, i said bye bye to 2009 in myanmar!!
Its a year well spent I guess because I had my many first times.
hah, shall leave it to my 'say byebye to the 19 year old club' post =P

and hello 2010!
its a new year ahead! =D
the ppt trip made me learn a lot of things
things that i decided to pen down in my tang guo shi jie book
they shall accompany me through 2010 and the many years to come :)

hmm..and the postcard i sent from myanmar haven't arrived yet..
luckily i didn't attempt to send my monkey yee yee thought post!

ohya. i had a WONDERFUL time bidding with cors this semester,
REALLY WONDERFUL
so wonderful I spent many many points (heartache)
so wonderful I behaved like an auntie picking leftovers in round 2c
so wonderful i nearly took languages and someone laughed his ass off
so wonderful i changed my plans here and there
haha, i think xiangling will blog about it too bah..
but, everything turns out fine..a MEMORABLE ~~YEP~~ bidding experience indeed :D

please don't envy the others

2009-12-15T00:01:00.000+08:00

I am in a blogging mood today, so I shall blog about what I have been thinking and revising the most this 2009, other than the 5 modules i took.
Nope. Not TV, not food but why I have chosen what I chose :D

According to my wonderful mama, i will envy my friends for taking whatever courses they are taking, for whatever uni they are going, be it local or overseas.
So if this is really happening in the future, i will have to remind myself why i have chosen to take this path in my 19th year (no regrets!)

long post ahead!

Why local? Why not overseas?
A question asked three times and I answered it with so much justifications.
Obviously an overseas education would prove to be more exciting and fufiling compared to a local one. However, I chose local because my family is here and I can't sleep without mama (prior to pgp training). PLUS even with an scholarship, I will somehow have to dig money from family (not wise not wise). So a local uni will do just fine. Somemore NUS is also very recognised and there is always SEP to fight for, meaning best of both worlds! work hard for it!

why not medicine?
although it is very cool to be a doctor but come on,
ms low, you want to be a doctor when you can run around a clinic just to avoid a jab?
I definitely won't have the passion to convince the med interviewers.
不要害人害己

why not dentistry?
Reason is obvious. I fear going to the dentist, let alone handle others' teeth.
I am not a good dental role model

why not law?
I don't like to argue, especially in English.
Moreover, not every lawyers get to uphold justice, no matter how much they wanted to in the first place. I can't stand this dilemma.

why not business and accountancy?
ok, this is tough.
i gave up that ntu double degree because i've gotten a scholarship for psychology
although i think i am super interested in knowing how business and accountacy modules are like, i can't foresee myself as woking in the business sector.

why not science?
dear science, i am not sick of you i swear!
but i am a coward, i fear labs

why not maths?
i LOVE maths
If everything works out fine, I should be minoring in maths when i read this in the future.

why psychology?
Very unexpectedly, i chose psychology. I was against it initially because i don't want to read people's mind and behaviour (but luckily i was enlightened that this is a misconception).
Like I explained to the nice psychologist, I want to understand the link between environment and behaviour. Perhaps because of my family background?
Perhaps a understanding in this area can help me better understand other kids in the future.

alright i am feeling hungry now, shall leave why teaching for the next time!
i have so much to say :D

to me: Make the best out of whatever you have chosen :D

my EXTERNAL locus of control

2009-12-09T13:34:00.000+08:00

I realised i have an EXternal locus of control when it comes to those 群岛 on my face.

Mummy: 你看你的脸，还不要去涂芦荟！

Me: 不关我的事！我每天都洗很多次脸...
啊! 一定是我未来的男朋友吃饭不干净！

Sis: -_-""""

oops, and i think i took a little bit of revenge this two days,
i have leftover food (yes i do! surprised bah) when i dine outside.

to the 芦荟 in the fridge, sorry, i won't say i am allergic to you anymore =X.

slap my mouth

2009-12-09T00:31:00.000+08:00

eh no, i should slap my hand

What a roller coaster just now
MISS LOW PEI YEE, please 三思而后行 next time!

wonderful 2nd dec!

2009-12-02T13:05:00.000+08:00

yeahyeah its 2nd dec!

time for me to slowly publish those unpublised drafts, lol

and milk tooth is updated..nice nice nice :)

what a week :)

2009-11-11T22:59:00.000+08:00

this is how i spent the last week of my first semester before reading week

i finally know my bloodtype after 19+years..muahaha

Spent my last lecture of the sem crashing yuting's chem lecture at engineering! ahaha, i miss the gan jue of chem lecture..hohoho, atomic orbitals, molecular orbitals, delocalisation, so nice so nice so nice so nice :)

tour around sci faculty with my tour guide geraldine and discovering all the short routes only after i took those long ones for a whole sem!

finally got myself in the subway queue (yea finally!)

seoul-gardening with blk 12 level 8! a large bit of food and a fair bit of htht = so much fun!

friday the 13th..my first ever food poisoning. culprit remains unknown but its either the mr meat from seoul garden or miss half boiled egg (main suspect) from pgp. anyway, i have a 'wonderful' time going to toilet and rolling on the bed for almost three days (opportunity cost: potential mugging hours) and surviving on ginger condensed milk. lol..morale of the story: watch what you eat

i shall be random, naiyi, lets eat at biz canteen one very fine day okie..and take maths module with me bahs, u can bring helpsheet in u know, so exciting :0

yea, i shall blog in proper sentences next time. i promise.

whats my bloodtype?

2009-11-02T22:30:00.000+08:00

i've gotten a total of 4 injections and 2 blood tests so far this year

its two tubes worth of bei's blood for blood test today

hehe, and i am going to know my blood type next monday!

whee, what an exciting 19th year old!

i've grown stronger

2009-09-18T10:21:00.000+08:00

i think i've grown grown stronger

no more tears when i heard his voice after the uncountable days

daddy jiayou!

and i have a new 偶像！

jie jie's thesis earned her an exchange to

IMPERIAL COLLEGE!

i want to do an A+ thesis,

fly to somewhere far far with a monthly pocket money of 2000 pounds too :)

o9o9o9!

2009-09-09T22:16:00.000+08:00

HAPPY DIAMOND DAY!

laobei is happily watching tv from

NUS Centre for Instructional Technology

looks like 7-11 is making a comeback again

laobei is happy she survived another 8am-6pm wednesday again

laobei is happy her cluster mates are nice peopple and like to use the kitchen!

She is not going to turn anti-social! whee!

hah, ying xian ah~ looks like u can't send ur knife down my neck le!

i know you 不舍得 either :D

don't worry I AM A BLOG NOOB..i have a lot to blog!

help me think of a suitable title

2009-08-15T00:27:00.001+08:00

yea i am back to school!!!

hmm..random things that happened this few weeks...

Oweek attata!!!
shall blog more about it next time.. this post and the fading(like finally~)orh cheh on my arm will remind me :)

mooncake outing with harmoc alumni! only a few people but it was really fun to 提灯笼！

A pity there is no mooncakes.

flu-ing for 2 days. mama says its because i go botanic gardens at night and watched ndp with wet hair in an air-con room.

I really love singapore! say the pledge 822

and i love the innocent little boy whose ambition is to be a president. :))

had only one lecture on my first day in nus. i had lunch in fos instead of fass.

a two day week for my first week of study

started to really think about pgp when everyone has already shifted in

first night in pgp yesterday and i can't fall sleep. saw 2 of my floor mates who don't like to smile at me so i have to swallow my 'hello!' back -_-"

BUT at least the cleaning lady smile at me when i say thank you to her :D

xiangge told me she has food from last year in her smelly kitchen so

brave me checked out the kitchen on my level. it smells ok but the fridge is OMG!

I see milk that expired on the month i celebrated my 19th birthday. yea..you can imagine...

BIDDING AND BALLOTING

i took almost the whole shuttle bus journey looking for the 96 opposite the direction i alight when i reach nus from clementi, only to realise 96 is a LOOP bus

AND STH REALLY GREAT HAPPENED TODAY

I FOUND MYSELF A GOR GOR!

unlike the situations that i have thought of though

his family background is so like mine

i don't think he plays the piano

but he did F maths and S paper maths with distinction on top of ordinary maths :)

(: happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy :)

record breaking vigorous activity!

2009-07-26T16:53:00.000+08:00

its badminton with my "guardians" nanny and naiyi at WEST SIDE!

Mission: to burn the fats

the two twinnies in action

and we broke our record!

its 20, 25 and then an awesome continuous 30 shots :))

hmm..lets try for a 50 next time..ahaha

THAT NEL MRT STATION

2009-07-22T13:47:00.000+08:00

alright, something big indeed happens when my age last starts with a 1...

Simple pleasures

2009-07-20T23:07:00.000+08:00

I am again hooked on to durians this period of the year. DURIANS ARE DELICIOUS~~Its durians and durians consecutively for "i dunno how many days", even aft the PP buffet which made the clique feel like pregnant ladies. I wonder if its a blessing when your siblings don't go crazy over durians and you get to eat their shares and start to grow sideway..hohoho, come on peeps, eat durians :)

Omg, I have been eating and eating and eating non-stop since kayaking. I think it sap me of my 19 years of food or rather oil reserve in my body so now I have to rebuild my reserve. These simple pleasures of eating have successfully resulted in me being unable to fit into the JUST NICE office wear de skirt today. O wells, congrats to me!

back to basics de OBS!

2009-07-14T21:55:00.000+08:00

Here comes the super late post on OBS (30th june – 3rd jul)!

Day 1!
The day started super early with me and wuzhen on bus 82 to punggol jetty and boating to OBS site. The “locals” got sorted into different watches and mine was KURT! Its after kurt hann, the person who founded OBI. Hah, my group is so noble. Whee, 4 days of fun and excitement ahead!

the kurt poster and our watch rules!

Then it was games to break the ice. ZOOM really tested my angmoh (which I haven’t been working on for very very long) but its cool to see how the group try to make sense what each other was talking about and work together to get the task done.

High elements up next. Three to work on. At first I thought I would just go for the minimum two but the experience was so great I went for all three:). The highest 9m was a nice one though I forgot to look at the scenery and perhaps spot a monkey saying hi to me, lol. But nth beats jacoobs ladder which vibrated n times the rate my legs were shaking-_-’

And food preparation for land expedition and camp over at Jelutong Campsite..

Lots and lots of food =D
eh, i think i shall leave reflections to the back!

Day 2!
The activity I was looking forward to the most – land expedition

say cheese before we set off (diana and shaoxun mia cuz of med checkup)

heavy bags loaded with food, life jacket, ..., ...
i finally learnt navigation! thanks to shifus - LJ (the instructor in red) and jasmine ahma!

activity!

oh, we had Du-licious lunch under some Durian trees! Then, there was this shopping centre stop during land ex. A few of us talked to this auntie who mans this "shopping centre" full of fruit trees and her two dogs ah orh (black in hokkien) and baobei! haha, i wonder if ahorh and baobei know doggy ugh at Ubin GreenHouse. The auntie lives in ubin all along and she uses water from a well! She shares yummy durians with her dogs and ahorh and baobei eat whatever auntie eats and of course, always ready to protect her against strangers like us. so sweet:) and i think auntie really enjoys her simple life there. nice nice..

Live discovery channel on spiders (presented by LJ)

And we mount the highest peak in ubin! Puaka Hill :D

A picture is worth a thousand words..but its really nicer you see it real

Greenlinkers! rmb a similar photo we took at this very place too? with lollipops in our mouths!

Overnight camp at Jelutong Campsite. The first time i tried cooking with solid fuels, stones as stoves and sea as the sink to wash our utensils. FUN and our mushroom noodles were not bad too, with the curry chicken and fish luncheon that tasted better with yuting's cutting skills! Discovery channel ep 2 was on that night with LJ teaching us constellations :) after that, its sentry duty with jasmine and diana!

Day 3!
有惊也有险的 sea expedition!

The day started off with morning circle and a story shared by LJ

the circle with each one of us contributing our 3-word morning blessings for the day

the main highlight - LJ's morning blessings for us. low tides, storm, capsizes, anything sway that you can get for sea ex ><

out on sea when we are still glam~

I was with a tri-yak at first with Yuru and Jeysthur. It was singing session at first as we go 左三圈，右三圈，脖子扭扭，屁股扭扭，... while kayaking. Soon, our singing became "ready, 一，二，三，推!" *a few minutes to get our legs out of mud without donating our shoes to mama earth* "ready, 一，二，三，推!" ...

alright, mudgroves do love me in the end, didn’t get hit by branches after that, got free mud bath to smoothen my skin and a chance to get up-close to mudskippers and worms. Mud lobsters are still too shy to make their appearance. hais

when everyone turned the same colour XD. shan (with red cap), the perfect example to show the deep MUD we were in.

It was storm after low tide! Frightening experience, especially when the giant waves threatened to capsize our triyak and somemore a few of us missed the entry point to the river where we could take cover from the storm. Pandemonium when the waves pushed us towards the barnacles on the fences and people were like shouting everywhere to warn us against hitting it (i can't imagine a capsize there!). Paddling seemed useless against the strong waves. But thankfully we had this small shore :)cover under the ponchos! we are like refugees..

survivors' photo before we set off again when the weather improved

Its kayaking back to OBS and intensive washing up, esp with all the mud~

hah, we got a catch on our triyak! the "swordfish" at its final deathbed (my syf flashcard cap) before it was buried in the bin.

3rd day night was "awesome", i went for dinner, sharing session, bla bla bla, feeling as if i was still on sea with the floating feel and sounds of waves. Imagine sleeping on a bed that is floating on the sea..摇呀摇呀摇~

Day 4!

Last day~

Breakfast time! Its buffet as usual :)

See our wonderful breakfast!
OBS meals are great, they make diana feel 感动everytime ;)

Had our bunk clean-up

peanut butter and ahma and their beds!

Had our last activity that had got something to do with commitments. You have to climb up to a height, leap and try to grab hold of a bar. Sadly, i couldn't reach it as i didn't jump far enough(like my SBJ, lol).

We then had sharing and reflections before the boat ride to punggol..

What's your biggest takeaway from OBS?

LJ posted us this question at the end of the 4 day course. On hindsight, I thought I really learnt a lot from this camp.

I may have painted a very beautiful picture of me as a moe scholar, having a job that I am really passionate about in the future and everything would just go smoothly. However, OBS really taught me to expect the unexpected. Just like the sea ex, who would know that we would meet low tide and storm and become like LJ mentioned, the suayest batch in his eight years in OBS. And when it really happened, it would take one's courage, initial beliefs and confidence to brave through it and go on with the never give up attitude and you know, your belayers in real life will be there to support you, just like what happened during the course.

My life is in the hand of some of my watchmates (whom I just knew that day) and theirs in mine on the very first day when we took turns to belay each other. I think trust and teamwork were the most important factors when everyone attributed the largest percentage of success to their belayer team. I learnt to appreciate the people around me and LJ's words make me realise the importance of my "team of belayers" in my daily life. Its very heartwarming to see everyone working together to get the task done, how we cheered each other on, how familiar and unfamiliar faces took care of diana during the storm, how we all felt like crying too when diana cried, how we shared about our aspirations, how we help each other to discover our inner self, how we learn which of the 3P (people, product and process) do we belong to as a watch, how we survived the storm and low tide as a team, and the list goes on...

I believe all these and much more would not be possible without the 12 other kurt peeps and of course LJ! While I am back from "back to basics" to this urban life of mine, my kurt journal with quotes, learning points and much more, kurt knot, post-its, and everything I've gotten from OBS will always be reminding me of this camp and most importantly, the friendship gained and the valuable lessons learnt through an OBS experience.

12 wonderful people who made my OBS experience fun-ner, more enjoyable and crazier!

chers to be! (that's how some instructors call us =D)
(left to right, back to front)

shaoxun! Jeysthur! Din! PohShen! Kaixin! Yuru!

Diana! Shan! Yuting! Jem!

Jasmine! Me! Elizabeth!

not forgetting LJ (the one in orange)!

He defines commitment as making promise a reality. I think he really achieved that and perhaps went beyond. I don't think other instructors shared so much with his watches. I don't think other instructors do clean-up with their watches and much more either. His words and actions are really enlightening and make me delve deeper, be it in my passion, my life, etc. And his morning blessings are super accurate! Haha, he has supernatural powers (just like you, goddess!) and I really thank him for the blessing, it certainly made me learn more and make the experience UNIQUE. He has wonderful things to share about ubin too! Some much more compared to the little I know about Sensory Trail. I love Ubin!

I went for OBS on the first day thinking of the last day, I left OBS on the fourth day, hoping there was a fifth day in OBS.

So Qad and Goddess! you will love OBS, don't worry!

Hello hello

2009-07-12T14:04:00.000+08:00

Testing testing 1, 2

Alright, its done! =D