dear blog, i am feeling very not-myself today. or rather, i think i hadn't been feeling myself since the semester started. too many things swarming in. i am no longer as alert as before. things that i was able to pay attention to last time, i can't now. i start to make a lot of spelling mistakes recently btw. i need. to find myself back.
something very sad happened today, you know, the last time i cried for my maths paper was in primary 5. when problem sum questions jumped from 5 questions in section c to i think 10. so many in the class got freaked out because we couldn't finish the questions in time. alright, i hadn't cry today but the same feeling is back. i am really feeling very sad that i got that results for a maths module, felt this way for ma1505 too but more intense this time. because i have awesome lecturer, awesome lecture kaki and awesome textbook but not even a near awesome performance. time to do something about it. especially because it is maths.
a lot of people around me are having problems. one friend called me today to share about hers. amidst all things, i hope i can still stay strong myself and be there for them. she was saying how can me and another friend be so strong last time when that major problem cropped up and that she definitely can't be as strong. i replied nobody know their inner strength when in fact i am not as strong as i seem too, i don't know where did that phrase come from but i hope it is true and i do have the strength and ability to find the old peiyee back.
read ahbu's blog yesterday. she had this really philosophical post. i thought to myself when will i write like her (meaning think deep deep like yk n people) but on the other hand, i find myself resisting to want to become like them. ironical, bu xiang zhang da i think =P
something that happened earlier this year around jan/feb, i miss it bacause i wasn't responsive enough. After i realised, it was too late. i know its irreversible but if given the chance, may history repeats itself again, i won't be that slow anymore.
to myself, please don't give up (on maths), rmb why you took it in the first place.
such emo updates, i realised i have been typing a lot recently. tomorrow will be a happy day! cuz its CHILDREN'S DAY! its the last day that children's day will be fixed on 1st october though, so treasure it :D i feel like giving gorgor, xl, B12L8, PAPX, hongyi, okie, everyone else lolipops tmr XD haha i even thought of giving one to the maths prof's son XD shall do it in my dream :D
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